My testimony is not a very pretty picture where my past is concerned. I share
it cautiously with one motive in mind: To give hope to the hopeless.
I'm 37 years old and six years ago I had a nervous breakdown. Looking back, I
can see how God turned that seeming disaster into a blessing.
I was saved at 21 after living in adultery with the man I am now married to.
We lived together for a year and I was influencing him to use drugs. But the
Lord had another plan. He sent a precious Pastor who was out witnessing to knock
on our door. After three months of persistance on his part, we accepted Jesus.
Not knowing at that moment if either of us had, we looked up at one another and
nodded yes. My husband moved out that day and went to live with that Pastor
until our divorces, which were already in process, could be finalized. We were
married and things seemed pretty good at first.
Then things that had been buried alive on the inside of me many years prior
began to emerge. Neither of us understood it at the time, but I had spent many
years running and getting nowhere.
For you see, at a very young age I was molested by several people. Some I
could recall, but one I had blanked out of my memory completely.
Then when I had the breakdown this all came up inside of me. It was like a
nightmare. I had lived ten years as a Christian in almost total bondage. Nothing
seemed to give me relief during those years. But when I became unable to run
anymore, I had to face some very hard facts. As the Lord brought more memories
to me, I chose to forgive and let go. I've seen a big change since that time and
am very grateful to God.
The main point I want to make is no matter what may happen to us, God is
still able to bring victory. My healing isn't over yet. It's a walk we must
pursue daily. Three things have helped me to gain much peace and joy. They are:
1. Reading God's Word and learning to love and respect it. 2. Talking to our
Heavenly Father as we would a best friend. 3. Fellowship in a local assembly,
for preaching, support, and prayers of God's people.
My greatest desire is to bring hope to as many people as God will allow.
I owe Him my life for He laid His down for me.
A New Creature in Him.