There was a time in my life when no matter what I did, I felt inadequate. I
had a good job but could never make myself believe I deserved it. I looked for
acceptance in places that just proved to be damaging to my family life and my
self-esteem. I almost lost my marriage in my search to fill the void I felt. The
drinking and partying I got involved in proved to be a disaster.
While trying to recover from my past mistakes, I was still searching for
acceptance; this time through success. I joined a multi-level marketing company
and attempted to be the best and earn the most. I lost my day job and almost
lost my house due to the debt I had accumulated.
In my struggle to sort out what went wrong, I realized that the people above
me in the MLM program shared their Christian testimony along with their business
secrets. I began to seek out more information by going to church and listening
to Christian programs. I ordered a book that was promoted by Tom Landry of the Dallas
Cowboys called Power for Living. It explained how to become a
Christian and why it was important to care about my eternal life and my
relationship with God. It explained that the Bible had the answers I was looking
for. All I had to do was trust Jesus and ask Him to guide my life. The Bible
says in 2 Corinthians 5:17, "When someone becomes a Christian he becomes
a brand new person inside, he is not the same anymore. A new life has
begun."
I certainly wanted a new start, so I asked God to forgive me for my selfish
ways and asked Jesus to take over from then on. I did this in my living room, on
my knees, in tears, because I knew how wrong I had been.
After that experience, I got the desire to read the Bible from cover to cover
and really learn all about Jesus. I joined a church that taught from the Bible
without all the man-made rules. I learned that I didn't have to concern myself
with all the things that this world finds so important because Matthew 6:31-33
says, "so do not worry saying, 'what shall we eat?' or 'what shall we
drink?' or 'what shall we wear?' for the pagans run after all these things and
your heavenly Father knows that you need them, but seek first His kingdom and
His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well." I
now have my priorities straight and my life is much easier to deal with. I know
how important I am in God's eyes and I no longer have that feeling of
inadequacy. My marriage is better then ever and I've filled that void in my
life. I know I still have a long way to go, but God isn't finished with me yet.
The best thing about this whole transformation is that I now have eternal life
with my Lord and I understand that the things of this earth are really not all
that important.