The quest to fill the emptiness in my life has led me through gambling,
drugs, booze, sex, and pretty much anything else I thought could make me happy -
nothing worked!
In 1985, while on trial for burglary and assault, I raised my hand to God and
asked His help. When the jury came back with a guilty verdict, and the judge
sentenced me to 9 to 18 years in prison, I figured that God didn't help or He
didn't hear my prayer. How wrong I was.
After I entered prison, it wasn't long before more trouble came my way. A
weapons fight on the basketball court at Clinton, Dannemora; landed me in the
box for two years. My life was getting worse.
After seven months in the box I finally understood that my way of living life
was not working. What I mean by my way of living life was simply living
according to what I thought was right. That is, pretty much, a morality that
says: look out for #1, and if it feels good, do it. Those are the rules I lived
by - the same rules that led me into prison.
It was in the box that I heard a Billy Graham offer for a free Bible. Shortly
thereafter a free Bible and a book called How to Be Born Again arrived
along with it. I understood Dr. Graham's Gospel presentation - mainly that
repentance is necessary - and God's message activated the process of salvation
in my life.
God certainly didn't provide the type of help I had wanted, but He surely
came through with the help I NEEDED. No one would think that a long
prison sentence could work for good in a person's life, but this prison time has
changed my life. This prison time has played a major role in bringing me to
Christ - and for that I'm thankful. In fact, becoming a Christian is by far the
best and the most important thing that has happened in my life. So, God did hear
my prayer, and He provided true help - the help that I needed.
Yes, I'm still in prison and away from my family, but Jesus Christ
strengthens me daily to comfort me day by day.
As a Christian my desires have changed. I've started to attend college in an
effort to gain an education so that I can be better prepared to become a success
when released. I have a large family and hope to finally live up to some of my
responsibilities.
Lastly, if I had one wish, it would be to have become a Christian before I
was married. This way, my dear wife would have received the love and respect she
so rightly deserved. Plus, my parents would have been spared much grief; plus,
my sons would have grown up with God in their life.
After understanding that repentance was necessary, the portion of Scripture
that was most helpful to me was Luke 6:27-38: "But I tell you who hear
me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you,
pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to
him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking
your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to
you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to
you."If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even
`sinners' love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to
you, what credit is that to you? Even `sinners' do that. And if you lend to
those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even `sinners'
lend to `sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do
good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your
reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind
to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not
be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to
you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be
poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to
you." (NIV)